I went to yoga today. I got dressed, grabbed my mat and drove to the studio. And then I sat outside in my car and cried.
I'm coming out of a bad flare up and I really felt the need to feel my body move, to reconnect to it and to the strength that I know it holds. I wanted to be in space held by my favourite yoga teacher and to hear the wise thing that I know she was going to say (she always does).
I wanted all of that so badly but I knew I needed to not do it. We've all seen the meme that says "I regret going to yoga - said no one ever" and I know that to be true; but I also knew that I was feeling too worn down and wiped out to show up for that today.
So I decided to honour my body's need for rest as the kindest thing I could do for myself today. And it felt weird to be honest. We live in a world of competitive stress where exhaustion is worn as a badge of honour and where taking time for you is seen as weak. But honouring yourself is not the weak choice, it's the hard choice. It's the choice to step away from the distraction, to go home with your ever present pain and fatigue and to know you need another day, at least another day, before you can feel strong.
Ultimately though I know that by honouring my need to rest I will be closer to feeling strong again than if I'd pushed myself.
How do you tap into what your body needs?